The gargantuan amounts of money that are vanishing into the mysterious black hole of private equity (which is now collapsing because all that money has indeed vanished…somewhere) and AI (which is also vanishing…somewhere, because the data centers it was supposed to have been spent on don’t actually exist) cannot be explained. The disappearance of trillions of global dollars in private equity is likely a theft perpetrated by tricking greedy elites into stupidly handing over all their money. And the disappearance of trillions of global dollars spent on AI (earning back only in the low billions, and even that is then immediately spent back into the black hole of the AI mystery circle) is likely a con siphoning money off of the rest of the public, by conning them into thinking it would orgasmically ejaculate into a world-changing megabusiness—rather than deflate into a dead end tech (with minor benefits at best).

But why?

My theory has long been robber-barony and stupidity. As the 1995 and 2008 crashes prove, amidst a great deal more evidence, the wealthy elite are in fact this stupid. And deliberate, blood-sucking, billion dollar scams—full-on pump-and-dump golden-parachute parasitism—are routine at that level of play. But something’s just not adding up. It’s going too long, happening too widely, and the scams have all been thoroughly exposed, and still the engine keeps running. Governments are saying nothing, just pumping the scam. Billionaires are saying nothing, just pumping the scam. Even Warren Buffett is disappearing his money…somewhere.

It occurs to me that there is only one possible explanation. You won’t believe me. So I’ll get to that last. First, I have to sell you on something you might believe, before you can understand the real threat.

What Might Be Happening

It all came to me in a shower a few weeks back, and I’ve been researching it ever since. Recently, as part of that detailed research, I rewatched the movie Deep Impact. Prepare for spoilers.

The science in that is a bit dodgy (up to and including jeeps that spontaneously explode like fuel-air ordinance when falling off cliffs), but, you know, close enough for government work. What really matters is that, in terms of its unfolding politics, this is the most realistic depiction of an ELE scenario ever put to film. And for those who don’t know what ELE means, it’s an Extinction Level Event. In the movie, that’s a giant comet that will essentially wipe all life off the surface of the Earth (like, way worse than hit the dinosaurs). Yadayada, and it ends up heroically mitigated down to just a Really Bad Day for islands and regions bordering the Atlantic. Whatever. But the point here is this:

The U.S. (and only the U.S.) knew for a year that this was going to happen (for, reasons; watch the movie, it’s an okay popcorn thriller). They told no one. Instead they “hid in the budget” trillions of spending to construct a massive subterranean civilization that could house a million people and a quasi-infinite zoo. Yeah, yeah, I know. In reality, that would take two years, not one; but, Hollywood. Anyway. A snappy reporter was going to accidentally uncover this, so the U.S. had to go public early, and take measures. Etc. But the Big Reveal included two things: that secret underground civilization (at which I’m sure fiscal conservatives shit in their chair upon hearing) and a secret gigantic rocket they had also been building in orbit (somehow unnoticed) that would “nuke” the comet (you know the drill—pun intended, for those who know the films).

It occurred to me that we might actually be in this scenario. But because underground civilizations and secret orbital megarockets take two years to make instead of one, the U.S. couldn’t hide it in a federal budget, which gets inspected every year (and disappearing spending gets noticed by then anyway). So what they did is, in 2022, pick some industries they could hype and trick all the stupid people to spend endlessly on for years even when seeing literally no significant returns. The best bets? Private Equity and AI. Obviously.

AI is just the right kind of “almost seems amazing but really isn’t” product that technodoofs can be sold on, fleecing all the Techbro and Singularity morons; and it came with the perfect “kick the can down the road” excuse for why they should invest trillions for a low billions return: “we just need more data centers, we just need bigger models, it’s just around the corner, look at the latest new shiny version of the widget!” So, bam! The Pentagon sucks all the money out of countless fools. Of course, they will have read in all the tech billionaires to get them on board to pump and dump the scam and funnel the money in exchange for an underground penthouse (and maybe each their own private Epstein cavern of sex slaves).

And PE can just as easily vanish into any black hole. No one really knows where the money is going (as in, apart from what they are told). No one is regulating it to notice or compel disclosures. And any greedy fucknozzle will spend endlessly on it as long as it’s ponzing them groovy returns. And above all, it was perfectly primed by the banking clampdown after 2008: so fucknozzle millionaires were hot to find some investment loophole back into the same clowntown their forebears enjoyed in the early oughts. And this was exactly what the doctor ordered. So the Pentagon set up a false-front op to absorb all that money, too. And presto, there you go: trillions of dollars to spend across about three years building your Hidden Civilization and Secret Megarocket.

This explains everything perfectly. And one could have predicted the whole charade would collapse by 2027 (when the margin call is due for the AI overspend and the mirage of PE returns starts drying up). So it seems likely the comet is known to be on track to hit Earth sometime in 2027 or 2028. Because 2027 is when everyone predicted the music would stop on both scams, and that fate is already showing signs of brewing in 2026. And even once their projects are finished, it will still take months to implement them—getting the rocket to the comet to try and do something, and moving a million select persons into the secret underground city. By then none of this will be concealable. And yes, I expect the Pentagon has been running this op without telling Trump or anyone in his cabinet, knowing they are all sieve-leaking idiots, mere placeholders to hide behind while the projects unfold.

What Is Definitely Happening

Okay. Maybe that’s what’s happening. And in all seriousness, I give it 10% odds. So when it happens I get to say I told you so. But here’s what’s really happening, which I have calculated to an 800% probability:

Did you know a moon-sized void suddenly appeared under the crust of Mars, speeding up its rotation? That was the clue. Because I read about a thing just like that in a game I played as a child, which I now know was a secret government experiment to test how people would react. It was called Amoeba Wars. I also then read a false-front MK-Ultra image-based publication about a monster growing inside what was really a cosmic “egg,” on which was encrusted space debris, making it what we know as the Earth. Of course we would have found that out by now if the Earth were that egg. But in truth, it has always been Mars. Scientists have known this since 1938. It was relegated to a secret blackbox initiative in the Pentagon to monitor. The egg was believed dormant, but now it is known that a giant space amoeba is growing rapidly inside and will soon burst free, destroying Mars, and it will float through the solar system acidically digesting the entire biosphere of any planet within, before drifting off to another solar system. So the surface of the Earth is doomed.

This unlocks another hidden mystery: why we are actually desperately trying to launch so many rockets. Artemis II is a secret mission to kill the Amoeba. You just wait and see. It’s launching today (yes, on April Fools Day—the government has a sense of humor) ostensibly to just fly around the moon, but (wink wink) farther into deep space than humans have ever gone before. Likely they will stage a fake emergency and the ship will be claimed inexplicably lost, while in fact it goes on to rendezvous with supply depots fixed in points along the way to Mars, disguised as previous satellite launches and thus hidden in the noise of regular commerce. With these the crew of four will assemble a gargantuan megaweapon with which to kill the amoeba.

The odds of success are low, and survival is unlikely. So praise be to those brave heroes. If they should fail, all the rich and famous asshats on the planet will disappear, into the deep Earth. Then you’ll know.

By that point the surviving amoeba and its hungry trajectory toward the delicious meat and vegetables of Earth will become visible to amateur astronomers and our doom will be clear. Another bit to this story… Why Artemis? Because, just as predicted in the Netflix documentary Don’t Look Up, the guy the Pentagon originally pegged to save Earth, Elon Musk, is so idiotic that all his rockets of any relevant size kept exploding, and he utterly failed to accomplish even a single part of his side of the mission. Fortunately, since Einsenhower suggested it, the Pentagon has always believed in Hadden’s Law: “Why build one, when you can have two at twice the price.” Hence as a backup they cross-funded NASA to do it right. So far, they are. Probably the secret orbital megarocket is NASA as well.

What to Do

In either case, you should dig an underground shelter right now, and stock it with a year of supplies; and, don’t forget, a means of disposing a year of sewage. But this won’t save you from the amoeba. So I recommend an additional step. It is a scientific fact tin kills amoebas. You should therefore cover yourself and your shelter in tinfoil. To be safe, I recommend 9,450 square feet of it. That will cause the amoeba’s cell surface to shy away and not dissolve you and your loved ones with its digestive acids. In fact, if you wear a tinfoil hat all the time, then you’ll be able to get to shelter, because the amoeba’s cell surface will strike your head first, causing it to be repulsed, so you can cut a path to your shelter before the amoeba oozes down and comes at you from the sides. Good luck. And may the Lovecraftian gods meddle not in your schemes.